The Married and Singles Series – Love Her Respect Him


Today marks the seventh and final installment of the series and I hope it has blessed you in some way. God created marriage so you would not be alone, but as we explored thus far, the purpose is more than a cure for loneliness. Whether married, single, divorced, or widowed your salvation through Jesus Christ bonds you to Him in a personal marriage. Since this is the case, God is to always be first in our life and no spouse should ever come before our relationship with Him.

That’s why if you’re unmarried it’s important that you solidify your foundation and get to know Him intimately each day. If you fail to do this part, you will find it hard to keep yourself grounded in many ways once married.

This was my story.

I thought things would work themselves out once we were united in matrimony under God, and it proved to be just the opposite. My marriage quickly showed me how shallow my walk with Jesus was. I was desperate to find a solution, so I began spending hours in the bible and reading more books about marriage. It felt as if I was swimming against the current fighting to stand up—it was tough.

When you’re single and so called “successful” by worldly standards, the people and the world can puff you up so big. We then believe we are “all that” because we have a good paying job, are well dressed; we look the part, and are doing impressive things. Sadly, though it’s nothing wrong with material things, they simply don’t make up the core of any marriage. What matters is what’s in your spiritual bank account. What kind of deposits are you making for eternity and what are you withdrawing?

According to Proverbs 16:18 KJV it says, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Many of us can exude prideful arrogance in some way or another, and when that is bought into a Christ centered marriage, it will all come tumbling down. Since God is first, He will not allow such a display to continue on without humbling you. It’s is no difference with selfishness either.

James 4:10 KJV says, Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. With all that we face daily, nobody wants to come home to wife that is not respectful or a husband that is unloving. No one wants a prideful—know it all mate, that has no sense of humility. You want to come home to a smiling face and spend your days with someone that is meek and open to what God wants to do through them, so God can exalt them above all that’s against them.

In Ephesians 5:33 KJV it says, Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Also in Ephesians 5:28-29 KJV it reads, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

The fifth chapter of Ephesians is powerful. If you meditate on the previous verses alone it can work wonders in your marriage. The thing to also note is that in Eph 5:33 it states that the husband is to love the wife and the wife is to reverence/respect her husband. Why didn’t it say husbands and wives are to love each other? After all, according to scripture we are all commanded to love right?

In this particular instance it’s deeper than just ordinary love because in 28-29 we see that no man ever hated his own flesh, he nourishes and cherishes it. He’s to care for his wife the same. According to Ephesians 5:2 KJV it reads, And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. This is sacrificial and unconditional love! Chist gave Himself up—He surrendered—He sacrificed—He died to save—His love is limitless. It’s the type of love God created us nurturing women to crave and yearn for. We don’t want to just hear you say you love us, we want to experience it daily in our heart.

When growing up, dad is our spiritual covering in the household. This relationship should demonstrate the love of Christ to the family. Then once we leave and cleave to start our own family, these values, along with what’s been taught to us through scripture, should help us to have a foundation in marriage. The husband is now the spiritual covering that is to love you the same way Christ does and how demonstrated. Without this kind of love from our human husband, we shrink back. We need this security to be energized.

Also, a man needs to be respected and reverenced from his wife. He’s raised to be strong and to become a provider for his family. This is no easy feat. He cannot tell you everything because some things he will have to work out and solve with God so you will not worry. He carries a lot on his shoulders because his responsibility is great. He’s to set the tone in the home and make sure God’s commands are carried. He’s to submit himself directly under Christ while you submit under him. He’s responsible for the family and God is holding him accountable.

Therefore, he thrives off of your reverence. When disrespect, nagging, or being uncooperative is constantly present, he will pull away. He “needs” to know he’s respected in his own home and as a father, husband, and man of God. He needs encouragement and to be cheered on. He needs a safe place to share his dreams and his fears. He needs you—his wife—to be his number one cheerleader. When he comes home and closes the door to the world for the night, he needs to be thanked for doing an awesome job. You must believe in him!

When you do that, you are welcoming God to do amazing things in your marriage. Who knows how far you two can go if you give the other what they need.

Men, if you desire to show more love to your wife, ask questions and get to know more about her interests, dreams, and goals. Do something special for her during the week that does not cost money to let her know she’s in your thoughts.

Women, if you wish to show more respect to your husband, ask questions about the things he’s into and do something unexpected for him that involves what he likes. For instance if he’s really into studying the bible, attend some classes with him surrounding those interests and talk more about them. If he’s into sports and you’re not, have a game night party at home with just the two of you. If he fixes or builds things, think of a small project that you want to do with him.

You must intentionally decide and chose to include love and respect in your marriage. Even as a single, divorcee, or widow you must prepare for being an amazing spouse in the future. This can be done by committing to be awesome in your other relationships. Always be willing to learn and take good sound advice. Also, never neglect your relationship with the Lord or His Word. You are always going to need evey bit of what He has to offer.

Finally, if your marriage needs to be restored please refresh it by implementing some of what I’ve written today. If you feel you feel it’s broken and beyond repair, please stay in prayer until God tells you specifically what to do. We can pray for you also. Until next time, I thank you for reading this series—God bless!

Will You Deny Christ Thrice?


Have you ever been there for someone that was down and out? They were at their lowest and lost it all. You fed, clothed, and gave them a place to stay. Their friends disappeared so you became a friend. You rewrote their resume, drove them to job interviews, and allowed them to use you as a reference. The two of you conversed for long hours and prayed often. You extended yourself because you wanted to help and you believed God would turn their situation around. Just as you predicted—things turned around and they were back on their feet and living on their own.

As God strengthened and used you to be there for this person, He admired your faithfulness. The following year you reached out to your friend for help and support while dealing with a few of your own issues. Surprisingly, they couldn’t assist, didn’t have time, and just wasn’t interested. You heard from this person less and less. The person you were there for, when others weren’t, stopped returning your calls, blocked your emails, and changed their number.

You got reports from mutual acquaintances that claimed bad things. They denied ever needing a thing from you. In fact, they said they lived with you because you needed help financially.  They moved on with their life and gained new friends that catered to their way of life.

All of the money, consoling, late night conversations, home-cooked meals, free room and board, and job searches you offered were clearly forgotten once the individual moved out and onto another path. They no longer needed anything from you.

Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you’ve been there for? It’s not that they owe you, but don’t you want to be respected and acknowledged in return?

People do grow apart, but this isn’t that. I’m talking about the spouse, child, ex, employer, friend or family member that forgot all about your contributions. They refute you and are off to find something new.

If that gets you upset, I pose the question, why do you do the same thing to God? Just as Jesus revealed to Peter that he would deny Him trice before the rooster crows, Peter said, no not me Lord, I wouldn’t do that. But like Peter, situations happened so fast, and you’ve now denied Christ over and over again.

“I love the Lord and I haven’t denied Him!” Certainly you have—we all have and do. The question is will you continue to do it? The Israelites (the apple of God’s eye) repetitively did it.

The days we’re living in are desperate and people are turning away from the faith to something that seems more appealing. Prophecies are being revealed and some think they can make God out of a liar.

  1. The Presbyterian Church voted unanimously to open its doors to officiate gay marriages. This is blasphemy to a Holy God that has no tolerance for sin of any kind. His church is to be presented holy and pure proclaiming His truth. Surely, this isn’t His church. Though God is love and loves everyone, He does not love our sin. The church is His bride, and He’s coming back for one with no spot or wrinkle. Somehow, men think they can rewrite God’s infallible and unchanging Word because we’re living in modern times. Consequently, professed Christian’s agreeing with leaders, laws, churches, or individuals that believe in the rights for gays to marry in churches and courts are denying Christ.  Leviticus 18:22 KJV says, Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
  2. Every Christian is a disciple no matter what. God commissions all of His children to do this (Matthew 28:16-20). We’re to speak out and expose things that go against God and share Jesus’ truth with others wherever God places us. In the work place it’s good to fellowship with those that share the same faith, but do we talk about Him to people outside of that circle? Do we speak up in group conversations when someone speaks harshly against God or are we silent? When going along with things that will break the heart of God that is denial and so is ignoring the commission. Matthew 28:19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
  3. Interestingly, the war between Israel and Palestine isn’t unique. Viewing mainstream media without understanding the bible regarding Israel, you would think that Israel is a bully. However, Israel is still God’s Holy Land and His people (though as a Christian’s we all are). The prophets were Jewish, the bible was written by Jews, and Jesus the Messiah is Jewish. When Jesus returns He’s going back to that land (Jerusalem). Israel has God’s protection and favor still. Over thousands of years Israel is still standing—this is no coincidence. They don’t have support of surrounding nations. Most of those nations are Islamic and they have martyred many Jews and Christians. Refusing to support and pray for them as a nation denies Christ. Genesis 12:3 KJV, And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.

When Christians make mistakes and wrong choices, God is faithful to forgive. Though rejecting Christ is a slap in the face to His Lordship and Sovereignty, there is still a second chance. A perfect God does not make imperfect laws. Turning from God’s laws is no different than the person who turned away from you after you were there for them.

Proverbs 14:12 KJV says, There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death. Some will never believe Jesus is the Son of God, their rejection will separate them from God eternally. For the saints that believe, there is a promise of life everlasting, free of pain and tears. This security doesn’t exclude one from the command of living holy and being obedient. The seeds sown today play a part in what eternal rewards are laid up in Heaven. God’s flawlessness and righteousness will not allow Him to be mocked. He knows all and sees all. This earth is temporal—it will soon pass away. This world has nothing lasting to offer, but life with God eternal has abundance. Loving God is an action demonstrated by obedience to what He desires no matter how one may feel.



The Gospel According to Oprah (Iylanya Vanzant, Dr. Oz and More)- Part 2


As I mentioned last week, the whole “New Age” agenda is bigger than us all—including Oprah. She’s just one, yet very powerful, voice in the whole scheme of things. This movement is in obstruction towards Jesus. Here is how The Good News Ministry described it in their article “Revealing the New Age Movement “…the New Age Movement is not just another cult…It is a powerful coalition of thousands of groups dedicated to bringing about a New World Religion based on the divinity of man.”

Oprah’s talk show aired for twenty-five years and as a result she personally provided an avenue for popular repeat guest to have their own shows or platform. This allowed the movement to attract even more supporters. After she promotes their books they instantly become bestsellers. Russell Simmons just thanked her for helping his book on yoga and meditation to make the list since being a guest on Super Soul Sunday about two weeks ago.

Like many of you, because new age is so embedded in everything, I too was blinded by a great deal of their teachings until recently. In “Revealing the New Age Movement” they state, “Traces of the New Age thought are seen within Evangelical and Charismatic circles due to the recent emphasis on self-esteem, or narcissism.” They are referring to the “selfish” teachings, but we won’t get into that today. However, we will take a look at some of the “New Agers” Oprah heavily endorses.


  • Dr. Rev Iylanya Vanzant –Born Rhonda Eva Harris is a Bestselling Author, New Thought Religious Leader,  and was given the name Iylanya after being ordained as a Yourba Priestess minister. Yourba is an African religion that sometimes practices sorcery, witchcraft, recalling spirits of the dead and so forth. Her name Iylanya (pronounced “Ee-yan-la”) which is worshipped as a sea goddess and means “big mother.” She often speaks of connecting with dead ancestors and loves to refer to God as “she” which is a Yourba belief. She switches between bible verses when convenient, but uses them out of context. The “Iylanya Fix My Life” coach also believes that salvation is found within and ratifies homosexuality. The difference with her and Oprah is that Iylana goes by the title Rev, which can be deceiving. Though she’s a great writer, speaker, and encourager she’s working against Jesus because this Reverend doesn’t preach the true gospel.
  • Deepak Chopra – Author, Speaker, Holistic Physician (natural mind-body-spirit healing), New Age Guru, promoter of Spirituality and (TM) Transdectanal Meditation. Doug Ecklund says, “His doctrine radiates toward the inclusion of the metaphysical nature of our being and our status in the cosmos.” It has been intently researched that many of his beliefs are in agreement with that of witches per the book “Power of the Witch.” Deepak’s beliefs are not in agreement with the God of the Bible.
  • Tony Robbins – The known New Ager, Self-Help Guru (selfish teachings), and Motivational Speaker believes Jesus was one of the amazing teacher’s in history along with Confucius, Buddha and Mohammad. He’s coached everyone from the late Princess Diana to Bill Clinton. Oprah gave him his own show “Breakthrough” on her network. Tony likes to use lots of profanity in his motivational speeches and is known by his signature “fire walks” in which he encourages his mentees to reach their goals and overcome fear by walking on hot coals. Anthony has respect for all kinds of religions.
  • Dr. Phil – A “professed” Christian that promotes change being found in self (selfish teachings), something the bible teaches that can only be found in the righteousness of Jesus Christ our Lord. If whenever he uses a Christian principle, it’s always vague and no reference is ever given to the Bible. He promotes guest that practice sorcery and witchcraft (psychic’s etc.) and he’s in agreement with homosexuality and other things that go against God’s laws.
  • Dr. Mehmet  Oz –The Cleveland Ohio born Physician and National Spokesperson for (TM) Transdescental Meditation (which is rooted in Yoga) believes in Sharia Law (as he’s a Muslim), and Hypnosis for emotional and addictive healing. He also promotes guests that practice sorcery (psychic’s) and eastern mysticism. During this research I learned disturbing news that Oz along with Dr. Amen and Dr. Hyman were the ones who created and put together the popular “Daniel Fast” book. They all took their various religious and “New Age” mind-body-spirit medicine beliefs and passed them off to Christians through Pastor Rick Warren as “God’s Plan” for our health. Though I was never led by the instructions in this book, I did do the eating plan as a “biblical” fast. Interestingly I always struggled to see the connection with Daniel in the bible and this fast. For more info read this article.

Remember Saints that Cumbey wrote in “The New Age Movement,” by Dr. Gaverluk and Constance Cumbey, “The New Age movement is a worldwide coalition of thousands of organizations, networked for the purposes of bringing a new world order and psychological and social changes in the world.”


According to 1 John 4:1 KJV it says, Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. What this verse explains is that we all must test what people advocate, encourage, and try to push upon us by comparing it to God’s Word. His Word is the sword that can cut out the fake. I encourage you to do this because even I or your pastor could be wrong. Many are intentional in their deception many are not, so it’s up to us to verify this even when it sounds right.

A lot of what the new agers teach sounds good and often seems to be the “wisdom” we’ve been searching for to get us to the next level of change. A lot of the mind-body healing, psychotherapy, self-help, business, and motivational books I read over the years seemed right to me then too. I didn’t know I was being sucked into anything. I was only trying to better myself and make positive changes in my life. I can’t even look through those books anymore, even for reference, because their spiritual philosophies are embedded into them.  They don’t line up with what I believe in scripture.

2 Corinthians 11:4 KJV says, For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him.

If they aren’t teaching the good news gospel of “grace through faith in Jesus Christ” they are teaching a message of antichrist. Yes, even some of the well known pastors of this day.


Be watchful, guard your heart, and continue to pray for the gift of discernment. Jesus Christ came to take away the sin of the world. His death and bodily resurrection are at the core of a Christian’s belief. We don’t just believe in “a god” and our God is certainly not “the earth”, “the moon”, “nature”, or a “she”. Our God is real and personal and we don’t need another level of “consciousness” or a “new earth” (as Eckhart Tolle says and Oprah believes) to commune with Him. We believe in The Almighty, Jesus the Christ, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

So please use godly wisdom when listening to people talk about “god” and their spiritual beliefs. Stand strong in your faith, know it for yourself, and be unmoved by what people say or believe when it doesn’t line up with scripture. I’m not telling you what to do or what to watch but you should definitely talk to God about it.



1.)  Stewart, David J. “Oprah Winfrey’s Teachings Exposed” Jesus-is-Savior ,

2.)  Stewart, David J. “Beware of False Prophetess Iylana Vanzant, Jesus-is Savior, May 2013

3.)  Rhodes, Ron “Anthony Robbins and the Quest for Unlimited Power” SCP Journal, Volume 22:02-03 Summer/Fall 1998

4.)  Cumbey, Constance  “The New Age Movement”by Dr. Gaverluk and Constance Cumbey, p. 18.

5.)  Houdann, Michael S. “What is the ‘church of Oprah’? Is Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth Compatible with Christianity?” Got Questions Website

6.)  Hunt, Dave and McHahon, Tom “Oprah’s New Earth” Search the Scriptures Radio Broadcast, The Berean Call, 2008

7.)  The Good News Ministry and Outreach “Revealing the New Age Movement”

8.)  Women of Grace “A Self-Help Guru Named Tony Robbins” May 2012

9.)  Wikipedia keyword search “Oprah” “Iylanya Vanzant,” “Dr. Oz” and “Deepak Chopra”