The Married and Singles Series – Love Her Respect Him


Today marks the seventh and final installment of the series and I hope it has blessed you in some way. God created marriage so you would not be alone, but as we explored thus far, the purpose is more than a cure for loneliness. Whether married, single, divorced, or widowed your salvation through Jesus Christ bonds you to Him in a personal marriage. Since this is the case, God is to always be first in our life and no spouse should ever come before our relationship with Him.

That’s why if you’re unmarried it’s important that you solidify your foundation and get to know Him intimately each day. If you fail to do this part, you will find it hard to keep yourself grounded in many ways once married.

This was my story.

I thought things would work themselves out once we were united in matrimony under God, and it proved to be just the opposite. My marriage quickly showed me how shallow my walk with Jesus was. I was desperate to find a solution, so I began spending hours in the bible and reading more books about marriage. It felt as if I was swimming against the current fighting to stand up—it was tough.

When you’re single and so called “successful” by worldly standards, the people and the world can puff you up so big. We then believe we are “all that” because we have a good paying job, are well dressed; we look the part, and are doing impressive things. Sadly, though it’s nothing wrong with material things, they simply don’t make up the core of any marriage. What matters is what’s in your spiritual bank account. What kind of deposits are you making for eternity and what are you withdrawing?

According to Proverbs 16:18 KJV it says, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Many of us can exude prideful arrogance in some way or another, and when that is bought into a Christ centered marriage, it will all come tumbling down. Since God is first, He will not allow such a display to continue on without humbling you. It’s is no difference with selfishness either.

James 4:10 KJV says, Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. With all that we face daily, nobody wants to come home to wife that is not respectful or a husband that is unloving. No one wants a prideful—know it all mate, that has no sense of humility. You want to come home to a smiling face and spend your days with someone that is meek and open to what God wants to do through them, so God can exalt them above all that’s against them.

In Ephesians 5:33 KJV it says, Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Also in Ephesians 5:28-29 KJV it reads, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

The fifth chapter of Ephesians is powerful. If you meditate on the previous verses alone it can work wonders in your marriage. The thing to also note is that in Eph 5:33 it states that the husband is to love the wife and the wife is to reverence/respect her husband. Why didn’t it say husbands and wives are to love each other? After all, according to scripture we are all commanded to love right?

In this particular instance it’s deeper than just ordinary love because in 28-29 we see that no man ever hated his own flesh, he nourishes and cherishes it. He’s to care for his wife the same. According to Ephesians 5:2 KJV it reads, And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. This is sacrificial and unconditional love! Chist gave Himself up—He surrendered—He sacrificed—He died to save—His love is limitless. It’s the type of love God created us nurturing women to crave and yearn for. We don’t want to just hear you say you love us, we want to experience it daily in our heart.

When growing up, dad is our spiritual covering in the household. This relationship should demonstrate the love of Christ to the family. Then once we leave and cleave to start our own family, these values, along with what’s been taught to us through scripture, should help us to have a foundation in marriage. The husband is now the spiritual covering that is to love you the same way Christ does and how demonstrated. Without this kind of love from our human husband, we shrink back. We need this security to be energized.

Also, a man needs to be respected and reverenced from his wife. He’s raised to be strong and to become a provider for his family. This is no easy feat. He cannot tell you everything because some things he will have to work out and solve with God so you will not worry. He carries a lot on his shoulders because his responsibility is great. He’s to set the tone in the home and make sure God’s commands are carried. He’s to submit himself directly under Christ while you submit under him. He’s responsible for the family and God is holding him accountable.

Therefore, he thrives off of your reverence. When disrespect, nagging, or being uncooperative is constantly present, he will pull away. He “needs” to know he’s respected in his own home and as a father, husband, and man of God. He needs encouragement and to be cheered on. He needs a safe place to share his dreams and his fears. He needs you—his wife—to be his number one cheerleader. When he comes home and closes the door to the world for the night, he needs to be thanked for doing an awesome job. You must believe in him!

When you do that, you are welcoming God to do amazing things in your marriage. Who knows how far you two can go if you give the other what they need.

Men, if you desire to show more love to your wife, ask questions and get to know more about her interests, dreams, and goals. Do something special for her during the week that does not cost money to let her know she’s in your thoughts.

Women, if you wish to show more respect to your husband, ask questions about the things he’s into and do something unexpected for him that involves what he likes. For instance if he’s really into studying the bible, attend some classes with him surrounding those interests and talk more about them. If he’s into sports and you’re not, have a game night party at home with just the two of you. If he fixes or builds things, think of a small project that you want to do with him.

You must intentionally decide and chose to include love and respect in your marriage. Even as a single, divorcee, or widow you must prepare for being an amazing spouse in the future. This can be done by committing to be awesome in your other relationships. Always be willing to learn and take good sound advice. Also, never neglect your relationship with the Lord or His Word. You are always going to need evey bit of what He has to offer.

Finally, if your marriage needs to be restored please refresh it by implementing some of what I’ve written today. If you feel you feel it’s broken and beyond repair, please stay in prayer until God tells you specifically what to do. We can pray for you also. Until next time, I thank you for reading this series—God bless!


  1. Excellent and beautifully written. Coming to your site has been a blessing to me. GOD is using you in wonderous ways! In reading this post I feel hopeful in finding the mate God has prepared for me. But most importantly God is preparing me for Himself. I feel blessed.

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