The Married and Singles Series – Attracting Adam

Romantic Couple

Written By Shannon Taylor

In my single days, I was on the constant search for a man or male companionship. I just couldn’t bear being alone. I had a different guy for every aspect of my life.  One was just a friend that I could hang out with; another served my emotional needs, and finally a guy who took care of my physical needs. Neither had the total package based on what I thought I needed or wanted in a man, so during those times the combination of all three “fed” my wounded soul.

Notice, neither of the guys fed me spiritually because I didn’t consider any type of spiritual need.

God was just God—the One I called on when I’d gotten myself into a mess of a situation. He held no major significance in the decisions I made. But, when I stopped running from God, once I finally submitted, my life was changed completely!

During my single days, I didn’t know God so I did what I believed every other single woman did—I went out to find me a man. Not knowing that God never says in His Word that a woman has to go out and get a man. Actually, according to Genesis 2:22 it’s the polar opposite, And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

See, His Word tells us that Eve was brought to Adam right? Eve didn’t have to go and look for anyone. Being single, we roll with the crowd thinking that in order for a man to want us we must look, dress and behave in a way that’s contrary to God’s Word.  So not true!

You want to attract the godliness in a man—not just lust. Lust causes your brother to sin. It also dies and believe it or not, it’s not a man’s deepest need. A man’s deepest need from a woman is respect! God tells us in His word that the wife is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33). Remember, what you give off is what you will attract. Being “fine” or “sexy”, on the outside is not enough to get and keep a man. Why? Because this is and was not how God intended relationships to be. Yes, taking care of our body is very important because our body is the temple of the Lord, but using it to get what we want is not what our bodies were designed for.

Let’s go back to Genesis where Eve was created and presented to Adam in 2:22-23. First, God took a rib—a part of Adam that was good and God created a woman for Adam. Genesis 1:31 says, And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. God used a rib, the bone that’s close to a man’s most vital organs, his organs that are most vital to his life and being, and from that came Eve.

You—the custom made rib, was taken from your Adam by whom? God!

Now, when God is done (assuming that you will step back, submit, and allow Him to do so) forming, shaping and creating you—then and only then will God present you to your Adam.

I understand that being single can be hard, but I will tell you from experience, now is the time to deal with you! Your season of singleness is the best time to deal with your attitude, brokenness, insecurities, and your past. You don’t want to go into a new relationship, and don’t even think about going into a marriage with all your baggage.  Why? Because it will put unnecessary strain on your human husband who’s just a man. You can’t bring along all of the baggage and issues then expect him to fix your life, make you feel a certain way, and take away the pain from your past.  The only One who can do that is God!

Now, back to Genesis 2:23, when God presented Eve to Adam, what was Adam’s reaction? He immediately accepted her as his wife. He immediately and readily accepted EVE as God had formed and created her. Adam didn’t ask God to change her in any way. God didn’t ask for Adam’s opinion or preferences (he was asleep) but God knew who Adam was and He knew what Adam needed. Adam was formed, shaped and created by God as well and had God’s breath breathed into him.  This is another reason why you, as a single lady, must step back and let God be God. Allow Him to finish working on and in your Adam.

If you’re trying to get a man that does not have the breath or Word of God in him, then he won’t recognize you for who you are and won’t know what to do with you.  He’ll only respond to you lustfully and immaturely! Also notice that Adam didn’t ask to try Eve out or to live together first to make sure they were a perfect match sexually! Adam trusted that Eve was all that he needed because Adam trusted God. You need a man who trusts God and is led by God.

Men desire respect and not being respected is one of their greatest fears. I didn’t know this when I first got married and it really caused issues in our marriage. Once I stopped trying to be in charge and submitted myself to God (which is submitting and being the wife God called me to be according to His Word) my hubby began to respond differently.

I got what I needed from him and he and I began to flow. The flow got better as we both learned God’s roles for a husband and wife. Men respond to us visually yes, but once the lust dies—and it will, then what?

So, while you’re single, please stop trying to be God and submit all things to Him—especially the job of trying to find a man.  Use this precious time to work on deepening your relationship with God because trust me, you will most definitely need Him when you’re married! Know who you are in Christ. Find out what His word says about you. Be a wife now, because as we learned last week in What is a Christian Marriage, you are married to God through salvation so allow God to be your husband. If you can’t submit to God’s headship, how in the world will you submit to your husband?

Read more about Savin’ it for Hubby and the author below:

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Comments

  1. Shannon, Shannon, Shannon!
    You have no idea how timely this article is for me in this season!!! I thank God for your openness and willingness to share your good and bad with fellow sisters in the faith. I just ended a “relationship” that was truly a move of God and now, I am seeking to focus on me. I appreciate the reminder of the importance of ensuring my relationship with my first love, God, is in tact. There’s always room for improvement in this area. God bless you my dear sister!

    • Denise, wow, thank you so much for the encouragement! I’m grateful to be a blessing and that this has blessed you. God truly can use even our greatest mishaps for our good and His glory! Praying the Father’s blessings all over you, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

  2. Shannon this is a great article. I agree wholeheartedly with every you said. God is in the process of healing those broken areas of my soul. I am so grateful to God that He has not allowed me to enter into a marriage in my broken state regardless of how badly I’ve wanted it. God is even growing me to the point of appreciating my gift of singleness. There are a lot of pros to being single such as the freedom to make decisions without having to consider anyone other than God. Most women can’t appreciate it because they hurting so badly and are looking for a man to fix them. I am just so grateful to God that He has chosen you to minister the message of purity to single and married women. God bless!

    • That’s awesome Latrina! Yes definitely learning to enjoy yourself and God right where you are in your journey! I truly believe that lots of people get married for the wrong reasons/motives and have no clue as to what they are getting themselves into all because they refuse to embrace their singleness and learn from it. God bless you for your faithfulness in Him!

  3. Shannon, this was awesome! 🙂

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  1. […] check out the wisdom that has been shared thus far as well as the article written by yours truly – Attracting Adam.  Praying you’re blessed and will draw closer to the lover of our […]

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