The Closed Door

I lost my last full-time job in March 2010 and was unemployed until September  2012. During this time, I pursued full-time employment, but every door seemed closed. When I did receive interviews, I was blessed to make it to the third or fourth interview. Consequently, I was rejected. Two of the six companies I interviewed with rejected me professionally.

Other companies scheduled interviews with me, but a few stood me up and didn’t keep the appointment. I never received a simple call of apology.

Finally, one of my girlfriends helped me schedule an interview with a company. I had two lengthy interviews, and made it to the final interview. The three managers seemed to like me, and I believed I rocked the interview.

As it turns out, I never heard back from the company, and the start date was quickly approaching. On that Friday, I realized the writing was on the wall. I would not receive an offer from the company. This was another disappointing rejection to add to the list.

My disappointment didn’t surface until Sunday morning. In my misery, I refused to attend another church service. I woke up and was furious. I was fed up.

For months, I prayed all the prayers I could pray and sang all the songs of praise I could sing. I had read my Bible, along with other books. I had taken all I could take from my time in the valley and was on the verge of giving up.

I managed to remain positive throughout my time of unemployment. Now, no one could offer me a word of encouragement. Profanity flew out of my mouth at lightning  speed, tears overflowed uncontrollably and I told God I was tired.

I spent the day drinking my pain away.

I drank all day listening to the sounds of aggressive and explicit hip-hop music. The music blasted as my anger intensified. This was an exclusive pity party and no one was invited. I quoted the lyrics to my favorite songs and kept the glass filled with my favorite top shelf vodka. I felt like a failure and was clueless about what would become of my life. My art sales were very inconsistent, and I was not at a point where I could live solely off the business.

In my drunkenness, I accidentally broke my favorite cross that was on my living room table. When bedtime came, I was much too sick to sleep. The next day, I felt so horrible and still could not sleep.

That night would mark the last night I drank alcohol or listened to degrading and profane hip-hop music. Within a week, the Holy Spirit led me into a life changing fast.

Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Who knew that the final employer who closed the door in my face with another NO, would play such a major part in my breakthrough testimony? The employer  had no idea how they assisted the Holy Spirit in changing my world. Now, I can’t help but to think how my life would be if I started that job. You certainly would not be reading my articles, or seeing how the Lord plans to use me in ministry.

My plan was to draw closer to Jesus, get another job, pay my mortgage, restore my finances, and spend the weekends having cocktails with my girlfriends at some of the trendiest lounges in Atlanta. I intended to rebuild my shoe collection, invest in my wardrobe and start dating again.

The very things that separated me from getting closer to Jesus would have been in the way. Though I had grown in my walk with Christ, I remained blinded to the areas in my life that were not pleasing to God. My drinking, profanity and premarital sex would still be an issue. I would have been back to living my life like the rest of the world.

Through this experience, I learned that we should thank God for the closed doors; they may save or transform our lives. Start thanking God, for everyone that has told you no, rejected you or shut the door in your face. If we look at rejection through our spiritual eyes, we might see the blessing as we learn to trust Jesus.

We must believe that if God wants us to have something at a specific time it will happen. When it happens, you’ll know it is Him because you will have peace.

I thank God for not giving me the job I thought I needed, I’m thankful I was never called back. I would not trade the life I currently live for anything in the world. God is truly amazing!


  1. What a beautiful story. Thank you for being so candid… often times people are afraid to share what they’ve been through, so, I appreciate your honesty. Excited to see what the GOOD Lord has for you & the rest of us. Looking forward to sharing/ reading your posts. Fab job!!!!!!

  2. Tyisha Hudson says:

    Thanks for sharing your this portion of your journey with the world because this is very real, real emotions,real struggles and certainly a test of your faith, God knows what he’s doing though, he knows that we will comes to our spiritual senses and recognize our only mission in life is to in all our successes to give him the glory and that’s it’s testified. Now he is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all you could ever ask or think because you yielded to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Stay blessed friend and I always thought you were and still is a superb writer.

  3. Gerren Keith says:

    That testimony is just as moving reading it a when i heard it.. God bless you and your ministry!

  4. The valley is something I am familiar with and closed doors is something I know. Perseverance pays off and God will is always greater than our own. Thanks for sharing and reminding me of a few things I continue to struggle with. We will keep pressing along.

  5. I am delighted and grateful for each of your comments. I had no idea what to expect as I launched this ministry in obedience. Not only that, anyone that truly knows me knows how open and transparent I am. I am so “REAL” and with my realness I believe that God can use to me touch an audience that some may not be able to touch. Life will have it’s challenges, but it’s about what we learn from them. Thankkkkkkkkkkkkk you all and keep me in your prayers!!!!!

    I’m even more grateful that God has allowed me to incorporate all of my gifts into ministry. Yay!

  6. Obedience is better than sacrifice. God is so awesome. I am So happy for you and glad you answered the call. This will open the door to so many more ministries. This is what we should be doing! Glad you are willing to share your story. I am excited and looking forward to reading more.

  7. Congratulations Tonya! I know a few people in a similar situation! I left my professional position after 10 years…stepping out on faith. I trust in his word and waiting in expectation. God bless you! if there is anything I can do to help you in your journey, please let me know.

  8. Temekia S. says:

    LaTanya, To God be the Glory! I am so proud of you. This website is awesome and it gives a voice to how truly REAL Jesus is.

  9. Thank you for sharing your testimony. I’m so glad that God has blessed you and was blessing you all along even though you couldn’t see it!

    Things are never as bad as they seem! The situations that cause us sorrow are the same ones that introduce us to the strength, power, and wisdom that we truly are!

    God is good All the time.

  10. I greatly appreciate each of you taking your valuable time to connect with me and read what I had to share. Thank you so much.

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